a downer and an upper

Today: I went with my dad to SLC to browse some salvage yards for a few things. At first I was thinking how this could be really fun if I had the time and resources to fix up cars; the hunt for the missing piece, like a real-life Where's Waldo.
I loved those books.
It didn't take long to get depressed though, seeing car after car with deployed airbags, smashed windshields, dented roofs...you can't help but imagine what might have happened to cause that damage. Who was hurt? God, I hope there wasn't children in the back seat.
We didn't find what we were looking for, but on the way from one yard to another I spotted an African restaurant and made sure we stopped there on the way home.
It seemed very authentic, though I've never been to Africa so I can't be positive, but there wasn't any silverware. I am sure it was very delicious and I'm glad we found it.


do I get a medal?

I'm having one of those days where I want to hurl things across the room every time something small doesn't go my way. Pen out of ink? It's lodged in the drywall. Stub my toe on a chair? Chair is in pieces on the lawn.
It may have something to do with the lack of sleep, the snow I woke up to this morning, or that my back is killing me.
I'm not alone though, all week this house has been filled with sighs and eye rolls, everyone thinking they are the only sane person left in this house of crazies.
Yes I would like some cheese with this whine...but even more, I'd like some wine with this whine.
Josephine is 15 months old today. In the last week she has managed to get the worst diaper rash in history, then get better practically overnight. (teething rash, I think) She fell while dancing outside and has a scraped up knee, and she did something or another and has a long gash on her shin (well not as bad as a gash, but worse than a scratch, a gatch? a scrash?). Then, she was bent over, playing with her new shoes and lost balance. She did a face plant on the cement patio and had a scrape from her forehead down to her nose. I say "had" because the last of those scabs came off this morning in the shower. Just in time too, I felt weird showing up at the pediatrician's office with my mangled baby. (she also has a black fingernail from smashing it in a cubbard a few weeks ago)
I don't supervise.
I took the stair blocking gate down last week too...so far so good.


here we go again.

I'm taking my baby on another airplane.
You know what that means? It means that mentally making packing lists and various other travel check lists has been the dominating brain activity.
I can't help it, we aren't leaving until May but the tickets were bought a few weeks ago and already I have made 4 million lists just concerning the diaper bag. I know what toys to bring on the plane but once a week I step out of the shower and realize I've forgotten to wash my hair.
This time we won't be traveling alone (phew), my parents and sister will be there. I don't know if I could handle this extremely mobile baby+bags+general traveling anxiety all by myself.
We are going to see my little sister graduate...from college...she's one of those weird people who spent 4 years at the same school, with the same major, and is acting all grown-up now. Blah Blah Blah.
She's going to be an Auburn University alumni, (just like her parents, and most of her aunts and uncles, but not her big sister) so we are going to be in Alabama, where we have much family, so we are sticking around for about a week afterward.
I'm super excited to swim with Josephine in the lake at my aunt and uncle's place. So excited that I've gone to three different store already looking for a swim suit for Josephine.
-I've also gone suit shopping for myself, I don't want to talk about it.
Don't be surprised if there are 10 more posts just like this one between now and the second week of May...it really is all I can think about.


Dear vegetarians, think about taking a day off for this

One of the ways I earn my keep around here is to do the grocery shopping for the whole family as well as prepare dinner Mon-Fri. I really enjoy cooking for someone other than myself (Josephine doesn't count, all she wants to eat are scrambled eggs) and I try really hard to make an interesting meal each night. Every once in a while I find time to make a little something extra like a pie or banana bread. Last night I made magically delicious cupcakes. No, there was no weed involved, and no Lucky Charms either... are you ready for this?

Dark Chocolate+Coffee+Bacon Cupcake!!!!!!!

It's like breakfast and dessert in one cute package. I'm giving you this recipe because I love you, but be careful, you will have a hard time not passing out face first into the whole batch.

(The recipe I followed said it was for 24 cupcakes, so I split the batter 24 ways. They all overflowed in the oven, I really could have made 30ish.)

  • Cook a package of bacon, extra crispy, crumble and set aside.

Mix dry ingredients in big bowl and create a well:
  • 2cup flour
  • 3/4cup unsweetened cocoa
  • 2cup sugar
  • 2tea baking soda
  • 1tea baking powder
  • 1/2tea sea salt

Pour wet ingredients into well and stir until just combined:
  • 2eggs
  • 1cup cold strong coffee
  • 1cup buttermilk
  • 1/2 cup vegetable oil

Stir in 3/4 bacon crumbles

375degrees, 20-25min
Frost and top with remaining bacon.


part two

Josephine really really really loves causing chaos, order is for babies.
She watches you stack up blocks and can hardly wait for the last tier before she winds up and Godzilla's your structure, squealing with delight.
She lines up the shoes kicked off by the door, backs up, and runs full speed with her arms swinging wildly, knocking them all around like a human bowling ball.
She "helps" with the laundry by waiting for at least three diapers to be in a stack before grabbing each one and slinging it behind her.
You don't even want to know what happens to her dinner.
Josephine is very loving and thoughtful.
When she decides to leave the living room to explore the hallway or to follow grandma to her room she always stops before rounding the corner to say "later" and blow a kiss to all of us still on the couch.
She always signs "more please" when she wants a sip of your juice or another bite of food.
She makes the sign for "please" on my chest instead of her own if she wants to nurse.
When asked to be gentle she will lightly pat my cheeks. If I'm lucky she'll then put both hands behind my head and pull me in for a super hug.
In the morning she'll sit up and reach for me to pick her up, when I do she always has her head a little down so that it wastes no time getting to my shoulder. Good morning hugs are the best kind.


Josephine Update

Things have been pretty wild here lately. Josephine is one of the most rambunctious babies I've ever met. She is incredibly trusting of her mama, to the point where she'll back flip off the couch into my lap without any prompting...or even checking that I'm still there to catch her. She's happy to spend all evening running full speed into the couch, and then into me, and then into the dog. She loves showing off how she can balance on a box and jump off all by herself, and it's even more fun when she doesn't land on her feet!
You'd never know all of this if I didn't tell you, she is still awfully shy around strangers. Even more so around men (excluding papa) no matter how many times she's met them.
I started bringing her to the nursery at church a few weeks ago but I always staid in there with her. Slowly she spent more and more time exploring the toys and less time crawling up my leg. Last Sunday I dropped her off and left to join my family in the sanctuary. When I came in at the end of service she was playing nicely on the floor, looked up at me and burst into tears. I was told she only cried for a minute while I was gone; I guess when I came back in she remembered that Oh Yeah, Mama Left Me and she was not happy. It was real sobbing, tears, clinging to my neck like a little koala... She wouldn't let me put her down for the rest of the afternoon.
On one hand, I want her to start being more comfortable with new situations and not having me around 24/7 so that I can take more classes and work more hours while leaving her with a friend/babysitter. On the other hand, My Baby! Oh don't cry Baby! I'm so sorry, I'll never leave you Again!
I love watching Josephine try on new hats...I don't mean dress up, though that's fun too. I mean, one moment she my little book worm and the next she a scientist exploring the wonders of nature (and every night she's an Olympic gymnast). Sometimes she will "read" to herself, but usually she brings a book over and thrusts it in your lap. She recognizes cat and meows at the picture, she know dog and pets the page. She floats her hand through the air at air plane, and gives a big sniff and a satisfying ahhhh when she turns the page to flower. She knows which page has the Pat-a-cake rhyme on it and makes sure that is the one you are reading. My favorite though, is that she knows all the parts to 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed, complete with falling down and then holding her head like she's hurt...
Even though today it's snowing like it's winter or something, yesterday was warm and sunny and mostly green outside. We were tromping around the yard and enjoying the sun when she put on her scientist hat. I was pretty much only making sure she wasn't running out into the street and keeping her from eating any dog poop, she was pretty much ignoring me. I saw her pick up a piece of wood from the garden and place in on the front step. A few minutes later she was inspecting a leaf and ran up the driveway to place it next to the wood chip. I asked her if she was starting a collection, she replied eh. Next was a single blade of grass that seemed to be chosen quite deliberately out of the millions in front of her.
Most nights she still wakes up a few times. It's pretty annoying, yeah, but sometimes it's kinda funny. She doesn't lie there and cry, she stands up and falls on top of me, mutiple times. Last night was really sweet though, she stood up and plopped onto my chest but didn't make it over because of a pillow in her way. She wriggled around for a few second and finally settled herself back to sleep, curled up like a kitten on my chest. She staid there for several minutes before rolling back to the mattress. Best several minutes I've had in a long time.



Nothing motivates you to exercise like full length mirrors and measuring tape.

I have a dress fitting coming up for a friend's wedding.

I haven't lost the last bit of baby weight that I need to lose.

Wii Fit is not enough and I am already eating the best that I can right now (I could eat better, but then I'd crack and eat an entire cheesecake in one night…so for now I'm doing the best I can).

I bought an exercise video.

I got mad at everyone eating the food I make but never helping me clean up so I declared that no one was allowed to eat anything I cook.

I still wanted to cook though, and I had just made a banana cream pie and banana bread.

So I ate the whole pie by myself.

I started sharing my food again.

I bruised my heel.

Josephine wakes up furious 5-6 times a night. Seriously, she is pissed.

I am exhausted.