Dear friends, family, strangers, and all readers of this blog,
I regret to inform you that Josephine does not care for you at all. It has come to my attention that your voice hurts her ears and you smell funny. When you hold her you are always rocking too fast or too slow, and in the wrong direction. Your hands are too cold and your singing is off key. When you change a diaper you do it all wrong, just give up. You have no idea when she is wanting to play or when she's had enough and needs to chill out.
Josephine has made it clear to me that she believes the best course of action for everyone involved is for her to be permanently attached to myself and for all others to keep at a distance a minimum of 12 inches. We both would like to insure that we don't mean to offend anyone; Josephine dislikes everyone equally.
Rest assured that if/when the situation changes you will all be notified immediately.